My marriage ended some years ago, very suddenly and unexpectedly.
My children were only 5 and 6 1/2. It was hard for them, as they didn't understand why their Daddy left.
It was hard for me too: I also struggled to understand why, at the same time dealing with Family Lawyers to negotiate a property settlement, selling and buying a house, moving and resettling two small, confused children - all on my own.
I had family and friends but as much as they wanted to help, I carried the burden.
I look back now and see many things I wish I had done differently.
One of them is ... that I feel I held on to my anger for too long. I can see how that held me
back and hindered my recovery which in turn kept me stuck, not moving forward.
"A neutral third person there just for me, supporting me so I could support my children, encouraging me to stay on track - indeed helping me to work out where the track was, so I could follow it - would have been an invaluable resource to be able to call upon."
I floundered afterwards, feeling lost and alone. I sat for too long looking backwards at what was - confused as to how I got to here - while I could have been moving more quickly towards a new life. I suffered depression which affected my capacity to parent as well as I would have wished. As a consequence, my children suffered too.
I can't changes any of this, but I can help you do it differently, to avoid the pitfalls so many of us can get hijacked by.
Being a single parent is not easy and there are many hiccups along the way. How your children deal with these will be a direct reflection of how well you are travelling and dealing with things as well.
When I started to feel better, I developed a website to support women through this journey. Building on my background in senior Human Resource Management, Industrial Relations, Management and Training as well as being a single parent, I decided to train as a Divorce Coach and found a recognised and reputable course in the United States offering excellent education in this specialised field.
Since then, I have rebuilt the website to what it is today - a site offering both men and women access to specialised separation and divorce coaching and support so they can take back control of their future and do divorce differently. The benefits are enormous, especially for your children!
Today I'm happy, my children are now young adults finding their own way and building lives around their passions and I'm doing something which is very important to me.
Do it differently to me and most.
Get help and support early to take back control of your life quickly and live it ... really live it.
Carolyn Madden BA (Ind. Rel.) (UNSW)
CDC Certified Divorce Coach (R)
Cinergy Trained Conflict Coach
Accredited in CDP Conflict Dynamics Profile
Cert IV in Training & Assessment
Member International Coach Federation